Ok- let’s get started.
Crapter 1: Anita’s trying out dresses in a bridal shop in Albuquerque; since she’s the Best Man/Person for Tedward she gets to wear black because all the guys in the wedding party are in black tuxes and plus even Donna admitted the taupe color of the bridesmaid dresses really looked bad on her.
She’s talking to someone named Micah Callahan on the phone (who? Never heard of ‘im!) and she’s nervous because her new smartphone is probably smarter than her (that’s me, but it is implied in the text). An infodump on Micah and we get to find out he’s working on a case for his Furry Coalition that’s bothering him (?) and the clients… sorry, shapeshifters… are finally allowing him to share info with her, what with being the law and all.
Anita turns to see if anyone’s within earshot; just that little movement makes her big ol’ funbags pop out (well, that escalated quickly) and after giving it some thought she comes to the conclusion that she’ll… just stand still. Shapeshifter is one of those words that makes folks uneasy when they hear it, and there’s no guarantee of privacy here, so let’s just call them clients, ‘k? (This takes about 1 ½ pages) [Or you could just hold off this entire conversation til later, but what the fuck do I know?]
Oh, and apparently Nathaniel’s here; he got mentioned since Micah wants him to take some pics of Anita spilling out of the dress before it gets altered. Plus with Micah and Anita being so busy- and Nate doesn’t have jack shit to do other than trail after Anita- they haven’t see each other much so Nate’s been getting all the smexy times. And since Micah’s clearly forgotten, Anita reminds him that Nate’s their shared boyfriend/fiancé and Micah’s gonna marry him just like she’s gonna marry JC. No other girls or guys allowed in the mix, tho- that would just make things weird.
Micah feels crowded with all the sharing, cross-marrying and whatnot. This just goes on and on and on about relationships and shit until LKH remembers there’s a plot that needs advancing so Micah sends Anita a picture from the case he’s working on. The young man’s right arm’s been transformed into a snake-like appendage, complete with a head that has kitty-cat yellow eyes, but with slitted pupils. Anita, having already forgotten Micah’s involvement, thinks it’s all Photoshop. Next picture is of a guy whose left arm looks like Medusa’s hair or a hydra. Micah tells her it’s a family of shifters, all the changes tied to the moon’s phases at first, but can become permanent.
Last pic is of a man whose entire right side of his torso is a bouquet of snakes, including one sprouting from his neck, and green scales on the right side of his face. Anita one ups Micah and asks if the changes eventually take over the entire body; dunno, didn’t think to ask (Guess we’ll save that tidbit for later). It’s more like a curse; they retain their own minds but the snakes seem separate from them- like Alien Hand Syndrome, acting independently of the body. There’s no melding of man and beast; all they get is flashes and impulses about biting and attacking things, their own minds getting less and less coherent over time until finally... FYI- those three are all related as father, son & uncle. It manifests differently in women- like a curl of hair or a single snake growing out of their chest.
There’s a knock at Micah’s door; the witch that Anita’s friend recommended (?) has been consulting with the Furry Coalition on this and they want to hit it from all angles- science, magic and shifter. Turns out the family has Greek ancestry, so there’s that. They’ve even tried amputation, but it grows back- not even burning the stump like in the myths works. They haven’t sought outside help because of all those pesky Varmint Laws.
Micah has Jake and Kaazim (?) with him; maybe they know something since Queenie, their former Harlequin mistress, was ancient as fuck and lived in Greece. Anita asks if they’ll meet any of the victims when they all come down for the wedding. Micah says yes, because the island is so small.
…wait, what now?
It’s never said exactly where Micah is- there’s a few throwaways about being ‘down here’, but not where that is. Or where the wedding is supposed to happen. All we know is Anita & Nate are in New Mexico and Micah is off somewhere else. And this is the HC version.
More relationship BS; time for I Love You/I Love You More/I Love You Mostest- but without Nate this time, which is a little weird to Anita. Now Anita’s wondering if Micah might be tired of all the sharing. God Help Us All. 18 pgs