SPOILER ALERT!

Book Flog- Anita Blake: Serpentine, Chapters 25-32 (51% and... NOTHING!!!)

 

 

Crapter 25:

 

Heading back to the room, Nicky feels the need to mention that every Master who had Brides fucked them; he asked all the Harlequin about it once they got back from Ireland. Just saying.

 

Donna comes rushing towards them, crying.  Nate tries to give her a hug, but fuck that- all men are fucking liars! (What now?)  Did Donna find out about more of Tedward’s Batman side?

 

(I guess LKH wrote a lot this when the Justice League movie was out because she keeps referring to Tedward personas as Batman/Bruce Wayne.)

 

Once alone, Donna asks Anita if she knew Tedward had been married before. Turns out that back when  Tedward was a young buck in the Army he hooked up with some woman who only wanted the security and benefits attached to a military spouse.  (As a vet, I can say it happens all the time).  Carol, the aforementioned Frankie’s wife, said she was glad for Tedward’s improved taste in women from when he was eighteen.   She referred to these types as… "dependatpotamus".  (oh, so that explains their presence in the book!)

 

Anita soothes; it was decades ago and Older Tedward would simply put it down as a mistake by Younger Tedward and add to the list of things not worth mentioning.   List of things?- what list, there’s more?  Oops- it’s compartmentalization; you separate the stuff in your mind so it doesn’t affect anything.  So that’s how you guy roll?  Yeah- we’re cool like dat.

 

Donna asks Anita if she’s mad about not knowing.  Nah, he’s my BFF.  But I’d tell my BFF about something like that.  You’re BFFs are all women; it’s different with men.  Yeah, but you’re his work-wife.  Yeah, but you’re his real wife; you and the kids are his real family- that’s what makes him happy.  So if you knew Tedward wanted a family would have gone after him harder?  Huh?  Sure, you guys aren’t having an affair, but something’s there.  Nope; I’m not a homebody- once I used to be, but not anymore. 

Now it’s all about Nicky, JC, Micah, Nate… blahblahblah. 

 

Tedward shows up and suddenly Donna’s completely over the whole thing.    Anita muses that Tedward does look pretty good, all buff and lean, but they should just stay friends.  She thought Carol was being mean about the first wife’s weight (how that overshadows his being married in the first place, I don’t know…)  Hey, I was eighteen, it lasted six months and she took everything; forget it- I did.  Crisis averted.  206 pages.

 

Crapter 26:

 

Anita steps into the hall into a battle of bridesmaids- Denny & Dixie.  Denny- who’s on Team Anita- is still trim, athletic, keeps in shape and looks great.  Dixie- who’s not- is slim, but doesn’t work at it so she looks ten years older.

 

Lucy, Donna’s friend and business partner, tells Dixie to stop being a bitch and asks Anita if she knew about the first marriage.  Dixie, natch, doesn’t believe her since men always tell their mistresses everything.  Cut that shit out.  Why?- I see the way you two look at each other!  Tedward admires and respects Anita, that’s all.  No man respects or admires a woman until he fucks her! 

 

Denny reveals Dixie’s looking to tell Peter and Becca that Anita & Tedward are zexxing.  Peter knows but Becca doesn’t, so leave her alone.  I’m trying to save my friend from a big mistake; she won’t forgive him lying about the first marriage so the wedding’s off anyways.  Nope- they’re off having makeup sex right now.  Anita notes how much this pisses Dixie off and adds why should she lie when the truth hurts Dixie more?

 

I’m gonna tell Becca- then there won’t be a wedding!  Leave the kid alone!  Well, Donna thought Anita would be ok as long as she had other dick here so she’d at least leave Tedward alone for the week!  (This goes on and on)

 

Anita slips back to Justice League references that all Dixie knows of Tedward is Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent.  She didn’t want to see Batman/Superman.  212 pages.

 

Crapter 27:

 

Bernardo’s still down by the pool, trying to pick a bimbo for the night.  Anita tells him about the first marriage and what Dixie’s trying to do.  He’ll be the one to tell him once they come back down.  219 pages.

 

Crapter 28:

 

Anita finally runs into Peter, Donna’s son, who’s fast approaching Cynric territory.  Anita notes that Peter looks so much like his real father, whose photo Donna keeps in the living room, and it must be creepy seeing that.  Rodina starts flirting with Peter, who goes through lots of odd responses to it.  Turns out she was doing it to make Peter feel better, which would make Anita happy… (oh For Fuck’s Sake- really?)  226 pages.

 

Crapters 29-31:

 

Wangst.  Sex.  Wangst & Sex.  Anita *might* be open to the possibility of anal sex.  Tee hee.  240 pages.

 

Crapter 32:

 

Someone’s at the door, disrupting the afterglow.  It’s a cop.  In the midst of the usual pissing contest it’s revealed that one of the bimbos, Bettina- whom Nate decided to become FB friends with and Bernardo ending up banging, has suddenly gone missing.  254 pages.