The Salvaged Sword of Vengar

The Salvaged Sword of Vengar - Chris J. Randolph "Morning came upon the steppe like a drunken sailor: clumsy, premature and with nonetheless great satisfaction." When you start right off the bat with some of the silliest, deep purple prose you've ever read, you know what you're in for. It's like reading a lost Mel Brooks treatment written by Leslie Neilsen.

Vengar's been looking for his mighty sword, Ridikulon... which he somehow misplaced during a night of revelry, and takes on the services of Shakal the Thief to help him reclaim it. A walking column of an evil warlord, Columnar, controls the Glum Horde, and needs the sword to revive the legendary Sunder Man and take over Sunderia. Why anyone would want to I've no idea, given the quality of life there. I mean, c'mon- the people live in buildings looking like the illegitimate child of a tent and a hut (hent? tut?) and the goat's milk they drink is best not mentioned again. Regardless, it can all only lead to an epically epic struggle of epic proportions.

If you're a fan of fantasy, witty satire or ever wondered what Eye of Argon could've been with some coherence, this is one for you